cardiganscoffeebutpleasenocats:
Have y’all ever had tortellini on pizza before? It’s delicious.
.. Is that fucking pesto tortellini pizza? FUCK ME SIDEWAYS.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
hey canadians brits and australians have fun at school on monday
Is there anything else you would have wanted to add to your acceptance speech?
Bring that sweet ass over here.
im so done w/ the internet
you walk over to the chamber of secrets and whisper “i have a crush on my cousin”. the basilisk comes over to you and says “you totally misinterpreted the use of this chamber and also you’re pretty fuckin gross”
this nigga ain’t got no teeth..
yeah. this is a robbery. but im not like most robbers. im different. the #1 rule of my robberies is for everyone to have fun and be yourselves (: also im not saying im random but give me all your squirrels xD (: haha no im just havin a little fun. whenever ur ready to give me your money, go for it :)
Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “well done Draco.”
isnt it weird how like theres a million different species and u got put in the body of a human like u couldve been a giraffe or caterpillar but no ur a human
